Archive for July, 2003

[I've forgotten how to type] [I don't have the inclination to do any of this] [I can't stop myself from doing any of this] [I'm getting sidetracked by I don't know what] [Go sponsor Starlet and Anne for the Blogathon] [I can't believe we pulled off a Saturday with only five people in at most] [I've missed a week and don't really care] [I'm not going to bother catching up] [You don't wanna know] [Short version: Hulk; Bar 38 and DJ; France; Submarine; Food poisoning; Home; Work; Drinks with Clair and Noobs] [Rat Race tonight] [Absentminded] [Can't remember who's got new layouts to plug] [Dad ate all the Salt'n'shake] [I wanted crisps without salt] [Plummet - Damaged (stuck in my head)] [Listened to Now 55 nearly all day] [Going throught phases of being unable to take myself seriously] [Too much Spider Solitaire] [I wanna do some't with this but don't know what]

Y’s finally home! Got out on Friday afternoon.

I sidled into work on Friday hopeing to avoid Carol in case she mentioned the meeting the night before. I needn’t have worried. She didn’t mention it all day. It turned out that Nick hadn’t turned up the afternoon before and hadn’t phoned in. she was pretty much fuming because of that. I’d forgotten how tiring whole days can be. It’s been so long since I’ve actually done one.

I went straight down to Portsmouth after work ( took me around an hour and a half) and was so happy to see Y back home. He looked much better just for that alone. I finally got to watch the whole of The Others. Everyone spent the whole evening wandering round going “are you mad, I am your daughter!”

I worked today. Nick won’t phone in but bev spoke to his mum and he’s definately not coming back. I’m not gonna say that makes me happy. . . Phil’s gonna take his hours, probably till someone else turns up.

I finished the Harry Potter book tonight. I read last night to the end of the chapter where “X” dies. I had to re-read that chapter just to make sure. I wouln’t exactly say I expected it to be that person. I kninda feel a bit empty now. I’d been waiting so long for that book and now it’s gone.

21:41 I meant to leave him my bag of Jelly Belly.

20:56 As I walked through the corridor that led from his bed I could feel the tears rolling down my cheeks. I didn’t want to leave him like that. I didn’t want to leave him at all.

Yesterday morning I woke up and knew a cold had hit. I could almost feel it the night before: the way I fell asleep so easily enfront of the film; the scratching in the back of my throat; the gradual blocking of my nose. maybe I was just hoping I’d taken some water through my nose swimming that evening.

I guess there was no other way of putting it. I felt crap. My head hurt, my throat scratched, my body ached and I never had any idea one person’s nose could produce so much snot. I got in from work and slept for hald an hour, at which point I accepted I was not in a fit state to go down to Portsmouth and went back to sleep.

When I woke up there were a couple of missed calls and a voicemail from Y. On listening though it turned out to be from Barrie. Y had been taken to hospital. He’d complained earlier of getting another really bad headache. He’d said he’d taken some paracetamol and was going to have a sleep so I thought he’d be ok. Thing is, things don’t always work out that way. He’d had a really bad asthma attack and they’d taken him up to A&E.

Barrie said he’d phone me if anything changed so I diverted my phone to the home one in case I fell asleep again.

No such luck. I tried to read but my attention wasn’t really on the book. I tried to eat but my stomach wasn’t wanting to play that game. Every time the phone rang I got cold with fear. I didn’t notice the time pass.

I eventually went to bed at about 11 but only cus I was falling asleep on the sofa. I had a lousy night. I had to leave the Steve McQueen dad was watching on to get to sleep. I kept waking: too hot; too restless; too worried.

When I woke up proper thins were somewhat better. There were a couple of texts from him saying he was eeling ok and would hopefully be out this afternoon. I said I’d see him either way.

Work was the usualy battery of critiscisms. Someone phone in saying they knew for a fact that Nick was stealing CDs. Between that and his frequent sarcasm towards Carol, we all reckon he’s skatin on thin ice.

Bev wasn’t impressed when I told her I wouldn’t be able to make tonight’s two way comms meeting. Even when I explained to her exactly why she didn’t seem any less put out. I didn’t tell Carol before I left. By that point I couldn’t face the argument. So, I just left.

Mum picked me up and took me home to get changed. Vera phoned. Y had had another attack this morning. He’d be in for at least another three to four days, I was on the first train out I could ge. Getting to Cosham wasn’t a problem, it was fairly quick. getting to the hospital took around 50 mins cus there were absolutely no taxis around. I ended up having to phone for one.

I must’ve sat with him for nearly five hours. Barrie and Vera came but didn’t stay more than 20 mins. I got the feeling Vera would’ve wanted to stay a lot longer but Barrie clearly wanted to leave. A bit unfair on her I thought considering her son had just spent the past 24 hours under medical assesment in hospital.

I didn’t want to leave. He didn’t want me to leave. It took so long tobe able to say goodbye. And, as I walked away, I left a part of me there, sitting on the edge of his hospital bed.

As Mondays go today was particularly organised. I guess it goes to show what a li’l work on a Sunday can do. I think I prefer Monday mornings when I don’t have to panic and rush around wondering what I’ve still got left to do.

My only problem with today was the heat. It’s not that I don’t like it, in fact I love it. I’m just not used to it. I could tell it was gonna be a hot one this morning when I stepped outside at 6:30 without the need for a jacket or anything. It’s been absolutely unbearable at work. Our only form of air con is opening the door. I must’ve spent about half an hour up in the stockroom at about 12 this afternoon. It’s the hottest part of the building. You could almost see the sweat pooling at my feet.

Over the weekend I decided I simply couldn’t wait a moment longer to start reading the new Harry Potter so I got a certain someone to buy me a copy. I’m in love with it already and I haven’t even read the first 100 pages.

On the train on the way down to Portsmouth this afternoon Y told me bout the gym. There’s what looks like a fairly new (and expensive) gym just behind his house. My guess is that a year’s membership would probably cost around £3-400. Well it turns out V’s got us all a year’s membership. I’m so excited. We went up there on the way back from the station to get my card sorted and it looks even more gorgeous on the inside.

It’s been so hot today that swimming seemed like the only option. I didn’t have a costume with me though so we went into town quickly and I got a nice dark blue one with light blue piping. So, of course, had to go try it out this evening. We all ended up going down there, fooling around in the pool for a while and then just chilling out in the spa. I’ll definately be back there!

. . . like the stars in the night sky and the li’l things you do, like finishing your work in half the time it takes anyone else to do the same. Yeah. Some things are made to go unnoticed and those same things can really piss me off at times.

I deliberately didn’t do any of Sunday’s “set tasks” this morning cus I knew I could finish it all this afternoon. Instead I pottered around, just made the place look a li’l better than before, a li’l more likely to sell some of the items with a high stockholding. I wouldn’t say I busted a gut to get things done this afternoon. Just made a bit of an effort. I thought it was fair enough to ask Nick to mark up the availability and do the corrections. There were only a few pages of the latter and I did three before he’d even gotten in. The whole lot could be done in an hour and a half max. I finished my bit two hours earlier than I should’ve so did the corrections for him. I wouldn’t say I worked my butt off but I got tons done. Does anyone even recognise it? No. Nobody realises what I do until I don’t do it.

I got out of the station about the same time as this random bloke. I wander to the front of the queue for the taxis whilst he wanders off to nose at the pre-booked ones. Bout five mins later a taxi arrives (in fact, two at once) and I hop on into the first. Before I’ve even shut the door I’m facing a torrent of abuse about how inconsiderate and ignorant I am and how he’s been waiting there before me. Now, aside from the fact that we both got there at the same time, had he not been foolish enough to ignore the pre-booked signs on the two taxis that were there when we both arrived, he would’ve had the taxi I was now sitting in. Taxi arrives, person at the front of queue gets in. Now forgive me for not seeing how that one is inconsiderate and ignorant.

We’ve been out this evening, since it’s been dark, on the playing field behind the house. Just lying there on the ground, looking up at the night sky, talking. You can lose yourself in that sky without even realising it and not even notice until you get up that you’ve toally cleared your mind.

Wahey! She’s back. It’s Starlet! We can all love pink again.