Only days ago I was remarking to the husband how disappointed I was that none of our family (on either sides) had bought anything from Lumpy’s gift list.  It wasn’t that I expected our families to rush out and buy everything on that list straight away but it would have been nice to see one or two small things purchased. 

I knew the sister had something up her sleeve, she’d told me that much.  She was also being incredibly cruel  (she knows how I can’t stand to wait for surprises) and had told me that I had to wait for Christmas.  For what? I’d complained.  It’s not like whatever the surprise was was a present for me.  What if the baby came early I protested.  But no, she was having none of it. 

On Sunday we took our usual trip down to the mother’s for roast dinner.  She’d been down to the market that morning with Nan and had brought back parsnips.  How exciting!  But then Nan turned up and she’d brought a present.  In her usual way she brushed it off as nothing.  Nothing my arse!  It was a cute little Disney set of trousers, t-shirt and jacket.  Lumpy’s first outfit!

Then the sister had all the familiy sit down together as she presented us with a black bin bag.  She’d thought about it and decided that she didn’t want the people at work to do the same thing and she wanted to be the one who got in first.  I could even have all the leftovers.  Cryptic.

Underneath that black bin bag was a gorgeous diaper cake, although the sister insists on calling it a nappy cake.  I guess she’s right, we are in the UK after all, but seeing as it originated in the US it might make sense to call it its given name.  Either way, the photo doesn’t really do it justice.  And because you can’t see through the cellophane, that’s an elephant at the top.

Yeah, that’s just how you make a pregnant woman cry.

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