One of the first questions the sister in law asked after we told her we were having another baby was would we be having a baby shower.  That one was easy.  No.

I wasn’t entirely comfortable with the idea of a baby shower the first time round.  Probably for one of the same reasons I never make a big deal out of my birthday and never bother having a party.  I hate being the focus of everyone’s attention.  Also, I can’t help feeling it seems a bit cheeky to invite all your friends to spend an afternoon with you on the provision they bring your new kid a present.  The good ones will do it anyway once the baby’s born. 

But last time round the sister in law was insistent and we spent a morning going round one of the local baby shops registering and then a few weeks later we had a shower.  Being on a Saturday, and with a lot of our friends having to work, it was mainly family who turned up.  Still, it was a nice afternoon and we ended up with a few bits and nearly a month’s supply of nappies!

This time round it was easy to say we wouldn’t bother.  Our friends are scattered across this country and another, our families living near by are all busy over most weekends.  Either way, between the cot we’ve got left from last time and a fair few hand me downs from the niece who’ll be one around the same time Lumpy’s born, there’s not a great deal we need. 

I did register at mothercare and have made a list of the few bits we’re still missing.  There’s a grand total of 25 products not even totalling £300 in price and more than a few of them were the result of me going gooey over cute little socks.  The list will go to our parents and anyone else who asks for it, but we’re not going to be trolling it around shouting ‘buy our baby this!’

Last time around, despite our good intentions and our obsessive list making, when the boy was born we still only had the buggy and car seat, the cot and those few bits we’d been given at the baby shower.  Grandma had insisted that she wanted to take us shopping for everything else, but we’d not been able to by the time the boy turned up almost two weeks early. 

As it was, after being wheeled up from the delivery room to the ward, Grandma and Aunt A spent a while visiting and then went out to buy everything we’d not already got.

The books tell you that you need so much stuff, five different items to complete one task ten different ways.  We didn’t get many of the items that had been on my list but what we did get were the essentials.  And we worked with them.

This time around we have the benefit of knowing how little we can get away with buying, thanks to the wisdom of Grandma and Aunt A.  So we’re going the minimalist approach.  We know that a whole changing unit isn’t an essential, and if Lumpy doesn’t have crib bumpers it won’t be the end of the world.  We know that fancy singing night lights and video baby monitors are luxuries we can do without and that Lumpy really won’t care if we don’t have a top’n'tail bowl because we’ve gotten by without these things before.

So don’t expect to receive your baby shower invite in the mail.  Just be warned, we’ll be requesting your babysitting services soon instead.