When I wrote a letter to my 18 year old self it wasn’t easy. Some people look on their teenage years as times of adventure, others as times of friendship. In some respects I’d prefer to forget mine. It wasn’t a time of cringe-worthy embarrasment, it wasn’t that those years were just years. Those years, some in particular, were painful, destructive, and laid the path for many difficult future events. When I wrote that letter it came from a place where much soul-searching has been done, where pain has been hashed out, thrown around and brought back down to rest.
To receive a comment on that letter simply stating ‘I do not believe this’ did not make me happy. Despite the fact that the person making that comment is a spammer, it still cuts through. Because, you see, people have not believed me in the past. People have said that I’ve been making it up, that it’s all a play for attention. Very few people, especially at the times when things have been particularly bad, have just not understood.
I’ve been blogging, in some fashion, since February 2003. That’s five and a half years now. Before that I just wrote. I tried my hand at poetry, and if I hadn’t been so depressed I might have been able to cultivate it into something half good. I also just wrote. I wrote whatever I felt, whatever came into my head, and published it on a website. That site, Monday Morning Cold, is perhaps a little broken down, but the words are still there. There words I felt, I believed in, they’re still there.
But now they’re coming here. I’m not sure if I owe it to you, or to myself to give them to you, but, slowly and surely I’ll be bringing those words to this blog, letting you know the truth of those defining moments that brought me where I am today.
Ladies and gentleman, I bring you me.
When I read your letter I was touched and very impressed – don’t see how anyone could have questioned it. Sorry for whichever plonker has nothing better to do than leave dumb comments on peoples’ sites.
mumof4 says Bling, bling
Nasty spammers. When i read your letter, I was touched, I could totally empathise with 18 year old Vic. And it gave me a glimpse of how far you’ve come.
Screw the spammers (I nearly wrote spanners, I guess that would work too).
Tilly Mint says Hit and run post…
I don;t think I need to know how much anything that hurts you also hurts me do I???
Want me to track the “spanner” out and blow up his computer or some’t?
luv ya!
UrbanVox says DIY King (of fools) Strikes again!!
I take serious offense to that too. Just because their life has been boring and mundane and average doesn’t mean everyone else’s has too.
Trolls. Bleah. They suck.
Maria says Come out, come out where ever you are…
nice to meet you ‘me’
)
write whatever makes you feel right at the time, after all it is YOUR blog, we choose to be here, reading you, we could all piss off somewhere where the posts are all to get high traffic, but we are still here. Reading. Commenting. Giving a damn.
xc
mrs hojo says National Foods are Crap
No only was it true, it was also obvious how much thought you had put into it. That you have reflected and learned a lot – more than a lot of people can say (including me!!)
EmmaW says Hatred: the next generation
I’ve had trolls on my blog too, as you know – both my current and last one. Ignore them – hard as it may be.