21:41 I meant to leave him my bag of Jelly Belly.
20:56 As I walked through the corridor that led from his bed I could feel the tears rolling down my cheeks. I didn’t want to leave him like that. I didn’t want to leave him at all.
Yesterday morning I woke up and knew a cold had hit. I could almost feel it the night before: the way I fell asleep so easily enfront of the film; the scratching in the back of my throat; the gradual blocking of my nose. maybe I was just hoping I’d taken some water through my nose swimming that evening.
I guess there was no other way of putting it. I felt crap. My head hurt, my throat scratched, my body ached and I never had any idea one person’s nose could produce so much snot. I got in from work and slept for hald an hour, at which point I accepted I was not in a fit state to go down to Portsmouth and went back to sleep.
When I woke up there were a couple of missed calls and a voicemail from Y. On listening though it turned out to be from Barrie. Y had been taken to hospital. He’d complained earlier of getting another really bad headache. He’d said he’d taken some paracetamol and was going to have a sleep so I thought he’d be ok. Thing is, things don’t always work out that way. He’d had a really bad asthma attack and they’d taken him up to A&E.
Barrie said he’d phone me if anything changed so I diverted my phone to the home one in case I fell asleep again.
No such luck. I tried to read but my attention wasn’t really on the book. I tried to eat but my stomach wasn’t wanting to play that game. Every time the phone rang I got cold with fear. I didn’t notice the time pass.
I eventually went to bed at about 11 but only cus I was falling asleep on the sofa. I had a lousy night. I had to leave the Steve McQueen dad was watching on to get to sleep. I kept waking: too hot; too restless; too worried.
When I woke up proper thins were somewhat better. There were a couple of texts from him saying he was eeling ok and would hopefully be out this afternoon. I said I’d see him either way.
Work was the usualy battery of critiscisms. Someone phone in saying they knew for a fact that Nick was stealing CDs. Between that and his frequent sarcasm towards Carol, we all reckon he’s skatin on thin ice.
Bev wasn’t impressed when I told her I wouldn’t be able to make tonight’s two way comms meeting. Even when I explained to her exactly why she didn’t seem any less put out. I didn’t tell Carol before I left. By that point I couldn’t face the argument. So, I just left.
Mum picked me up and took me home to get changed. Vera phoned. Y had had another attack this morning. He’d be in for at least another three to four days, I was on the first train out I could ge. Getting to Cosham wasn’t a problem, it was fairly quick. getting to the hospital took around 50 mins cus there were absolutely no taxis around. I ended up having to phone for one.
I must’ve sat with him for nearly five hours. Barrie and Vera came but didn’t stay more than 20 mins. I got the feeling Vera would’ve wanted to stay a lot longer but Barrie clearly wanted to leave. A bit unfair on her I thought considering her son had just spent the past 24 hours under medical assesment in hospital.
I didn’t want to leave. He didn’t want me to leave. It took so long tobe able to say goodbye. And, as I walked away, I left a part of me there, sitting on the edge of his hospital bed.
